hey you, yeah whoever you are, my name is victoria and i’m a total nerd. seriously, i have no friends, no clue what i’m doing with my life, and am really nothing more than a random blogger. 

but you gotta listen to me:

if you want to self harm: drop the blade/scissors/knife right now and listen to me. cutting will not fix anything, seriously. the sky will still be blue, the earth will still turn, leonardo dicaprio will still be hot, and your problems will not magically go away.

i know you feel like there is no other way to express yourself - like you are gonna fucking explode if you keep this pent up. talk to me, seriously. go and hit my ask and we will talk for hours about anything. i will make it my personal mission to distract you. if you are gonna cut because you feel numb or depressed or like you really aren’t worth it, i’m telling you right not that you are FUCKING PERFECT IN YOUR OWN WAY. no one else could EVER be you, and i think that’s something to be proud of. 

if you’re still reading this - good, i’ve now wasted two minutes of your life and (hopefully) stalled you. now drop the blade and come talk. i promise, you will never be turned away no matter who you are. 

if you want to commit: oh boy, do i know what this is like. you are looking (or reading…?) at the girl who has tried twice to take her life and failed both times. and you know what? i am so fucking glad that i did. because, if i was dead - lying in the ground somewhere, dressed in some lame dress - then i wouldn’t be here able to help you out of this decision. 

i realize that hey, i might just be wasting text space. you might already have your mind made up and i respect that. do i think it’s not the right answer? YES. but i can’t make you live this life - you have to do that for yourself. and trust me, if i could take your pain away, i would do it in a HEARTBEAT. because you do not deserve this and i don’t give a fuck what anyone - including you - have to say about that. 

think about it - if you were to die, you would miss out on so much. you know what? right now go get a pen and a piece of paper. i want you to write down ten things you have always wanted to do. it could be anything, i don’t care. got them? now, i want you to absorb each and everyone of them - why did you pick that, huh? what made you want to do that? now i want you to go out and accomplish those - stay alive long enough to do everything you ever wanted. and guess what? YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT. you want to bungee jump? go right a-fucking-head. you want to meet your favorite band? get in the car and go. you want to find love? go out there and get them. you want to marry leonardo dicaprio? too bad because he’s mine (kidding, kidding…sort of). 

you are capable of so much, and i know right now you probably feel like you are worthless but you aren’t. you are beautiful and amazing and perfect and funny and kind and caring and helpful and get me a fucking thesaurus and we could go on all night. 

please, come talk to me. because you are a living person, someone who has feelings and hopes and dreams and likes and dislikes and crushes and hair and eyes and perfection. you are worth so much. talk to me, keep fighting another day. 

if you want to start some kind of self destruction: i’m gonna be honest, for a second, okay? having an eating disorder or OCD or an anxiety disorder or self harming or whatever will not make you special. you will not be “cool” or a rebel or part of some inner cult (seriously, who thinks we’re a cult?). you know what you’re gonna be signing up for? MISERY. SELF HATE. DEPRESSION. TEARS. BLOOD. SWEAT. PAIN. i guarantee you that your life will suck even more if you get one of those. so don’t even think about it.

come talk to me or your parents or your friends or the source of your problem - do not ruin yourself. because guess what? you might feel relief for a second, but then you will spend the rest of your fucking life in recovery, trying to remember a time when you were happy and hating yourself for even starting in the first place. 

if you feel like you hate yourself: BUCK UP LITTLE CAMPER. hey, i don’t know you but i’d really like to. so, go to my ask and we will talk about anything. we can talk about you (because you are probably interesting) or me (i’ll bore you to tears) or a TV show or a fandom or avengers or the fucking weather. i don’t care, but i’m going to sit here and message you and i’m gonna make you smile if it is the last thing i do on this earth, okay?